Answer the question honestly before you read on…
There are two types of people in this world. The ones that think they are right and the ones that are.
The above is meant to be a joke but it has some truth to it. I can’t tell you how many lives, including my own, have been damaged by false beliefs. Beliefs that may have served them for a time, but not any more. Or simply beliefs that never served them well at all, but they cling to out of some fear of change or just not knowing anything different.
We live in a world that has a vast variety of people who have had an even vaster number of experiences. Everyone holds a certain amount of truth and many people are right about a lot of things. Yet, no one has a strangle hold on what is right all the time.
This subject has come up a lot for me recently. And I have found myself on both ends of the argument.
For instance, some people really feel the need to give me their opinions to make my life better. For all their good intentions they may still be wrong. And I have been that one that thinks he knows the right answer. And I have given my opinion to people with all the good intentions in the world. And yet they don’t receive them because they think I am wrong.
It is frustrating on both accounts…
So many questions pop up but they are all the same. Am I right? Are they right? Are both of us right or are we both wrong?
For the longest time I have accepted people’s opinions openly, and have even gone out of my way to ask for them. I have felt this to be the best course because I could draw on a large pool of experience and make the best decisions. Over time though I have slowly pulled away from that idea. Why? Because you do eventually find a situation where everyone is wrong!
There is still an opposite extreme to this as well and I think it is the deadlier one. It is thinking you are always right and never taking people’s advice to heart.
You see, most people are well meaning even when they are wrong. And many times they are right. They have solutions to your problems that you couldn’t ever come up with yourself. It is good to have many counselors, but it is bad to try and listen to them all.
Like many things the solution to the argument is the middle path. It is wise to avoid the extremes and to seek out the middle path.
It is not healthy to always think you are right. Just like it is unhealthy to always lean on people’s opinions and never make a true judgment on your own.
It is also unhealthy to be prejudiced against the source of the right advice. Have we not heard wisdom from the mouth of babes?
The real lesson and the task at hand is to discover how we can stand on our principle and moral values yet remain open to possible ideas that may help solve our problems and live better lives.
I have no easy solution but I do know we get better with practice and over time. I would encourage each of you to think more deeply on this and give me your thoughts in the comment section. I am interested to know…
Do I think that I am always right? Should I really answer this question? Is it not better to answer a question with another question rather than providing a concrete answer? Do YOU think that I am always right? Why not go on believing that I am always right but not attempt to make others think so? Would that not be the best way to be?
Hello Jeremy,
My answer to your question is – YES.I have a right to my opinion but I do not push it on to people.If I am asked I tell them.I am not judgmental.I may raise an eyebrow but I feel unless I am directly asked my opinion,I keep my thoughts to myself.
Cheers
Bunny got Blog’s last blog post..Fix To The “Save Draft” Incident, Part 2: The eDragonu Feature
I think we are all entitled to say what we think, although it is helpful not to offer unsolicited advice. And I don’t really care if I’m right. You can take my word or not.
Akemi – Yes to Me’s last blog post..Soulmate Sucks
How does one come to decide what is right and what is wrong? Is not what you agree with right? If it is true for you then it is right to you. Being right is about truths we hold.
However, we go through our lives trying to find truth. Through a series of experiences picking up puzzle pieces here and there about truth. Going through life twisting truths together and forming bigger truths about us. The more truths we see, the more potential truths we see.
One night I woke up with the thought, that humans only experience what they do based on expectancy and routine of habit based around the center of knowledge that they understand something about life. They continue to experience life only through what they understand.
For example, as human beings, we look into the mirror expecting to know what we will see in the reflection through memorization.For another example, before we get out of bed we expect to know what the rug/carpet/wooden floor will feel like to our feet before we even get out of bed, we know what the feeling is like, out of habit and what we expect it to feel like. Our whole life is wrapped around this, even though must of it is subconscious by now.
Perhaps some truths we have stem from this too. I analyzed all the truths about myself, life, the world around me, and the beliefs I adopted from those truths of thinking I was right. I discovered that I held onto truths that did not even have anything to do with who I am or how I understand the world around me. I became aware that most beliefs I came to know as truths, were there out of conditioning, programing, and subconsciously adopting out of habit.
The easiest way to find out if your belief is empowering or limiting is by asking one simple question: Does your belief say, “I can’t” or “Not possible”? If your answer is yes, then it is a limiting belief. Now, if your answer is no, then that means one of two things: it is neutral (meaning it does not add to your life, but it also does not take any value away), or it is an empowering belief (meaning it gives you power to take the direction in life your willing to take).
This is how I always determine if I am right, if it empowers me. I take everyone else out of the picture. I only offer advice when I am asked and I never feel the need to push my ‘rightness’ (feeling empowered) on them even though I know they will be empowered because I see a perfect universe with perfect events to give everyone exactly what they need to reach the next step and I never interfere with the perfect universe unless asked. Hence you asked 😉
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Hi Jeremy,
I don’t think I’m always right. I KNOW I’m always right! 😉 Just kidding. Great post about stopping to consider the other person’s point of view – it’s seldom the same as ours!
Daphne’s last blog post..Having It All, Losing It All
I think when others give advice, they either draw from personal experience or what they heard from others. Usually most of it what they heard from others, and they just repeat it without ever questioning the contents of it.
Also, each situation we are in, is very different, so the “one size fits all” solution does not work.
I also say, stick to your gut, listen to yourself, stop looking for the answer out there.
tom’s last blog post..Do you focus on the result or the process?
Hi All,
This post really highlighted just how differently I think about this subject. It seems like Daphne was the one who really got the main thrust of the article. And that was that we should stop to consider other people’s point of view. That there are valuable lessons to be learned there.
I must say that I care deeply about whether I am right or not. And I do want unsolicited advice if it means accepting what is right. That is what friends are for, right? To make sure we can conquer our own follies and shortsightedness.
Again, there is a balance. We should never follow people blindly. But we should never hold resolutely to our opinions without first examining why we hold them. Are we right or wrong? I hope thinking about this helps us get closer to a sense of “rightness” about our lives.
Cheers,
Jeremy
Hi Jeremy,
OMG, you mean I was really ‘right’?? 🙂 I’m glad we think alike anyway. Doesn’t mean we’re both right necessarily, but it’s nice to belong to a group, even if just a ‘thought’ group. Thanks for asking the question and making us all think!
Daphne’s last blog post..Having It All, Losing It All
I think an interesting aspect of this is spiritual beliefs. People can have very different beliefs and each believe them as intensely as the other. They each believe they are right but if their views are contradictory then one or both of them must be wrong.
I have views on spirituality which I have come to after a great deal of research and thought. I am very happy with my views and believe that I am right. Normally I am very open to considering other points of view but on this matter I feel that I’ve considered other people’s views for long enough. I’ve made my decisions and I’m happy to stick with them.
Julian’s last blog post..How To Sleep Better
Just for the record, my comment (above) was intended as a playful means of answering a question with more questions. On a second read of the comment, it appears a bit abrasive.
Thanks for provoking thought.
Cheers…
I personally hate this particular comment, because anyone who speaks something out loud generally thinks that they are right about whatever they just said. So anyone who tells anyone else that they “think they are always right” is just stating the obvious.
I personally DO think I’m always right – given the information I have already been given in my life. If you can present to me some information I have not yet consumed, I will listen to it and possibly change my thinking.
Herein lies the problem: I have lived in 15 states and 3 countries in the 32 years I’ve been alive. I have visited almost every state and about 25 countries. Taking away simplistic things like customs and language, people are the same throughout the world: they look out for #1 first, they want their kids to have a better life than they have had, they want more money, etc. Therefore, it’s pretty tough to provide “new” information to me. Am I extreme? I don’t think so – I’m realistic. Who knows anything for certain except God?
Hi Nate,
I think what you say has a lot of truth to it. Who honestly knows, but God?
I think you have reached a false assumption though. It is easy to think that because you have experienced so much in this life that you really can’t be told new info. That you have a certain grasp on life and that you are being realistic.
However, in my mind, being realistic means accepting that you can’t be right 100% of the time. It is a physical impossibility and can be eventually proved true no matter how high your batting average goes.
Not everyone looks out for #1 first (some of these people I call living martyrs), not everyone cares that much about their kids, and not everyone cares to have more money. I think these are sweeping generalizations you are making, and I think as a realist you should be more accepting of the facts that are right in front of you.
Cheers,
Jeremy
Hello 🙂
I agree with Jeremy on that last comment. I am perfectly content with my life and only hope my kids have as good of a life as I’ve had so far. not that I haven’t had my problems, but I feel lucky to be breathing and have food in the fridge. I find money to be a source of stress, so I choose to be content with the amount I have. I put others first for the sake of their happiness and my thoughts on karma. It’s ok to be wrong sometimes. As a matter of fact my girlfriends and I had a good laugh today and thats how I came across this site. one of our boyfriends made a joke yesterday and three of us ladies went home offended thinking it was about us, turns out it wasn’t about any of us and we yelled at our boyfriends for nothing. the term “words of wisdom from the mouth of babes” was used and I wanted to know what that meant, and this article popped up.
Anyways it’s naive to think your always right, or blame someone else for giving you the wrong information. You live, you learn.
Cheers.
Honestly, I dont THINK that I am always right I simply KNOW that I am always right. whenever I am having an arguement or a dispute with someone I always end up winning at then end because they realize that I do have a point. I think people who think that they are always wrong and give in means that they are a bit too pessimistic. I’m just confident and I stick with what I believe in. And its not a matter of pride, low self-esteem, or whatever folks think these days. its a matter of standing up in what you believe in.
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