Look At What People Do, Not What They Say

People say a lot of things, both good and bad. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they don’t…

What do their actions say?

For example, “Someone says they really want to spend time with you, but can never find/make the time. The action proves they don’t care to spend time with you. If someone says they love you then they shouldn’t be DOING things that make you feel horrible.

Don’t wait for people. To get ready, to show up, to call. Life is too short to wait. Courteous people are on time. Some people like to exercise their power over others by making them wait. Think all the fashionably late.” – Matthew from the ERE Forums

People are going to let you down. That’s a given…

Some people will let you down continually… You have to ask yourself, do I really need this person in my life?

The answer is you don’t. You are wasting your energy, and wasting your time. Think of all the other people who can benefit from, and will really appreciate, your time and energy. People who are naturally giving and want to give back to you as much as you gave to them, according to each person’s ability to do so.

It is one thing if a person isn’t able to give back…

There is always a bit of sadness I feel when I see parents of mentally disabled children. Yet that sadness is quickly overwhelmed by a sense of joy when I see how those parents interact with their child. They give a lot to their children, and receive hardly anything in return, yet those children do give them some things. They give their parents their innocence, their smiles, their hugs, and they give to their parents a greater appreciation of life. What those children give may actually be more than what their parents give to them if you look at it that way.

Now if a person is able to give back, yet chooses not to, there is something wrong. Sometimes it may be that they simply feel you aren’t giving them what they are looking for. If it is someone you care about, someone who has given you a lot in the past, it pays to see what that something might be. And do your best to provide it. Keep the dialog going… It’s in this way that loving relationships can increase…

However, there are times where one party is giving a whole lot more than the other person. This may be a relationship that has gone bad over time or it may have been bad from the beginning and you never realized it.

In either case, you have to decide two things. What is the real problem? And how much am I willing to give without receiving anything in return (how much you want to be a martyr for a cause)?

It has to be this way, there are no other alternatives…

You can’t keep giving to a black hole. Reciprocity is what creates more life, more love, and more happiness. When two people are growing together all things are possible. If one person is dragging the other one down, no one is winning.

I can’t tell you how to decide, but I will tell you that you have to decide! Someway… Somehow…

Just think of all the people who are losing out on what you can give because your light is disappearing into a black hole of negativity!

Please my friends, don’t let this happen to you.

Spend what time and effort you feel is necessary to salvage a broken relationship. And try to not form relationships with black holes. There are people who need your light much much more than they do.

If you have done all you can, and all else fails, please leave that person to their darkness and move on. If they do not want to change, no amount of effort on your part is going to help them. Use your light and energy to the fullest.

Go where you are needed, wanted, and loved!